Ray to go, dorks

Do you know how cool a devil ray -- or more properly, a manta ray -- is? Severely cool:

The manta ray, or giant manta (Manta birostris), is the largest of the rays, ranging up to 6.7 meters (22 ft) across its pectoral fins (or "wings") and weighing up to 1,350 kg (3,000 lb). It ranges throughout the tropical seas of the world, typically around coral reefs. Mantas are most commonly black above and white below, but some are blue on their backs. A giant manta's eyes are located at the base of the cephalic fins on each side of the head, and unlike other rays the mouth is found at the anterior edge of its head. To breathe, the manta has like other rays five pair of gills on the underside....

To better swim through the ocean, they have evolved a diamond shaped body plan, using their pectoral fins as graceful "wings".

Mantas generally eat plankton, fish larvae and small organisms that are filtered out from the water by their gill rakers, a type of filter feeding that is called ram-jet feeding.

Awesome creatures! I had a chance to pet the Mini-Me versions of these 22-foot rays at SeaWorld -- gentle, wonderful animals.

Of course, then there's a couple of other creatures around Florida: Americanus redneckus and Homo reactionarius. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays have been mulling changing their team name as part of a general overhauling scheme under new ownership. And also, you know, because people are freaked out by the whole "devil" thing:

On the day in March 1995 when Major League Baseball awarded Tampa Bay a franchise, former owner Vince Naimoli, who led the group that brought big league baseball to the area, announced the new team would be called the Devil Rays. He said the ownership group settled on that name after considering more than 7,000 possibilities.

A Devil Ray, Naimoli said during a news conference held in Palm Beach that day, is a "majestic" sea creature that "floats peacefully in its water."

Fans were puzzled by the name. Some never heard of a devil ray. Others objected to the word "devil" in the name.

[Current team president Matt] Silverman said the Rays new ownership reexamined the name and found it lacked a "universal acceptance," with fans and some are still upset over the use of "devil."

Despite a scary, scary Satan name that will almost certainly cause universal demonic possession of Florida children any day now, I think we all know the real reason it's a problem:

While the name Devil Rays was not exactly welcomed with open arms, Silverman said it is not the reason attendance is down at Tropicana Field or why the Rays have floated at or near the bottom of the standings throughout their nine-year history.

Actually, I think the name is not welcomed with open arms because the Beezelbub Rays have floated at or near the bottom of the standings throughout their nine-year history.

God forbid Miroslav Satan join the Tampa Bay Lightning.