reviews

About Reviews

Reviews on Celsius1414 are on a scale of 1-14, corresponding to the first 14 elements of the Periodic Table. In case they’ve slipped your mind from science class back in the day:

  1. Hydrogen (worst)
  2. Helium
  3. Lithium
  4. Beryllium
  5. Boron
  6. Carbon
  7. Nitrogen
  8. Oxygen
  9. Fluorine
  10. Neon
  11. Sodium
  12. Magnesium
  13. Aluminum
  14. Silicon (best)

A review of 0 indicates no elements — a Vacuum. Which means, yes, that the subject of the review really, really sucks.

Joe Dirt

joe dirt

Caught this on HBO… Very funny movie. David Spade’s WT character is a lovable goofball, and I think the “process” that Dennis Miller’s DJ character and his audience go through (make-fun-of to root-for) mirrors that of the viewer. Watch this for the cameos and allusions alone. Warning: you will miss Chris Farley, not because Spade can’t carry the movie as the focus, but because Farley would have been great in this. On the other hand, it’s good to see Spade leaving the straight man bit behind. 9 out of 14 elements (Fluorine). IMDB entry.

Brotherhood of the Wolf

kick

AKA Le pacte des loups. Watched the DVD of this. Stylistically astounding. Hong Kong meets pre-Revolution France. Story diffused at times (You are so, how do you say, beautiful. Let’s shag. Oh yes, wasn’t there a terrifying beast running around earlier?), but felt like an old story where that sort of thing was just fine. Fight sequences were both beautiful and dangerous (especially the first one; gave me chills), though I kept seeing William Wallace/Mel Gibson with the face paint and long hair near the end of the film. 10 elements out of 14 (Neon). Oh, and definitely change the Language settings on the DVD for French spoken with subtitles in English. Much better that way. IMDB entry.

Scorpion King

scorpion king

This is a good opportunity to practice the art of keeping one’s expectations at a reasonable level.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

giant robots

This is one of my favorite movies of the last 10 years or so. It is not necessarily one of the best movies of the last 10 years or so, but it is one of my favorites.

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