Dr. Evil: You know, I have one simple request. And that is to have sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads! Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that cannot be done. Ah, would you remind me what I pay you people for, honestly? Throw me a bone here! What do we have?
Number Two: Sea Bass.
Dr. Evil: [pause] Right.
Number Two: They’re mutated sea bass.
Dr. Evil: Are they ill tempered?
Number Two: Absolutely.
Dr. Evil: Oh well, that’s a start.
Undoubtedly to fight the deadly menace of Sharks with Frickin’ Laser Beams Attached To Their Heads, the fishing industry is countering with high-tech weapons of its own: Laser-Based Lures.
C. Douglas Nielsen (“Yes, I see Douglas Nielsen…”) writes in the Las Vegas Review-Journal:
Bruce Young is an inventor who believes the key to catching more fish is all about lighting up.
I could have guessed that there would be some “lighting up” involved with this story, but let’s continue. ;)
For the past 10 years, Young has been working on a way to put laser technology to work in a fishing lure, an idea that came about by accident.
It began when he pointed a laser sight at his fish tank full of African cichlids and peacock bass.
“Every fish in there chased and would bite that dot. I could get ‘em to bite rocks, and I could get ‘em to bite each other,” Young said. “Six months into it, I thought, ‘What if I put a hook on that dot?’ Ten years later I’m introducing the first laser lures in the world.
“Fish chase it. Cats chase it. Dogs chase it. I can’t tell you why, but they simply do. If it eats meat, it’s going to eat the laser light.”
Which gives me an idea for my next trip to the local steak house.
